Thursday, January 31, 2008

Punk Pioneer...

At left, very likely the next candidate to be immortalized in pen and ink as a "point punk" for a certain annual underground race that is on the horizon. Figured I'd go obscure and dip into the void a bit for inspiration.

Just have to visualize the proper perspective and layout, obtain the proper beer (to lure the muse), grab the pencils and a blank sheet of paper, and find the time to sit my ass down to draw. Then hope that the muse takes over.

In the meantime (and until I have something a little more substantial to write about), a box of safety pins goes to the lucky punk who can tell me in the comments just who the hell this guy is (Butch, our recent discussions render you INELIGIBLE for this contest).

Of course, this very post is replete with clues...

Thursday, January 24, 2008

Beaten, Bruised, Back for More...

The other night, upon returning home from the latest TNS ride, I was greeted at the doorstep by a white padded envelope.

Inside was a pair of refurbished Crank Brothers Eggbeaters—the original stainless steel model (now called the "SL") I bought too long ago to remember—along with a checklist from the "Pedal Spa" (I shit thee not, that's how CB refers to what I assume is a subdivision of their customer service department) indicating the type of maintenance they had received.

I arranged this relaxing vacation a couple months earlier after one of the pedals, perhaps weary of being trod upon for years, revolted by breaking free of its spindle in mid pedal-stroke, all but stranding me some three miles from home on a chilly evening. I finished my ride by leaving the cage clipped onto my shoe and pedaling with a deliberately inward pressure on the stroke to keep the damn thing in place. A slow journey, to be sure. And none too safe on a fixed gear.

I knew that this scenario would eventually play out, because it had happened to several of my friends over the years, usually under less than ideal circumstances. So you would think that being aware that each additional ride1 on these things brought them that much closer to self-detruction would make me consider swapping them out as a sort of preemptive strike against failure. Alas, I am a cheap and lazy bastard sometimes, and pulling off another successful ride on aging components (worn tires, threadbare sidewalls, decrepit carbon fiber bits, etc.) is like the taste of stolen candy or the apples you'd scrump as a kid from a crotchety neighbor's tree: somehow, the risk involved made it all the more sweet. Just ask DimminentfailureT about that—he'll tell you.

Although any warranty on the pedals had long since expired, I figured what the hell and sent off an email to Crank Brothers explaining the situation and asking about my options. To my surprise, a representative by the name of Anka Martin responded by telling me that CB would be happy to warranty the pedals. All I need do was mail them and CB would take care of the rest.

I did, and they did.2 Nice to know that Crank Brothers has yet to go the way of some other companies (read: Avid) whose level of customer service seems inversely related to their profit margins.

1. To their credit, these pedals have truly taken a beating. They've kept me attached to the bike through countless stints over rocks and roots and through mud and snow, and along endless miles of macadam and crushed stone, in weather good, bad, and ugly, under conditions of steely sobriety and wanton drunkeness. I forgive them their one indescretion.

2. From what I understand, CB has redesigned the cage/spindle interface on newer Eggbeater models to preclude the sort of malfunction described above.

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Demise of the Good Doctor...

..or Elegy for a Suburban Saloon.

Last night, five of us decided to host a redux of the old TNS (Tuesday Night Swill) ride to gather at Dr. Dremo's Taphouse in Arlington. We wanted to show our repects for this iconic and soon-to-be departed neighborhood pub—a victim of rampant (and too late?) housing market forces and xenophobic county officials—and also, proud sots that we are, to quaff some good ale.

(Okay, this wouldn't be a literary lamentation without a little sardonic editorializing and a bit of maudlin reminiscing before we move on to the tale. Hey, I have to space out the pix somehow, and the evening, while entertaining, wasn't all that unusual or action-packed. So just bear with me.)

In recent years, the former Bardo Rodeo (and, before that, Oldsmobile dealership) had fought a losing battle1 with the county and commercial developers to simply remain what it had always been: a dark, noisy, smokey refuge against the increasingly commonplace yuppie bars that now litter the boulevards passing through Court House and Clarendon like the scattered baubles of a broken charm-bracelet.

Hunkered down against the tightening stricture of towering office buildings and predatorial condominiums, Dremo's is a down-to-earth, well, dive, where you can find on tap an array of fine drafts as eclectic as the surrounding decorum rubbing elbows with such crass classics as PBR, Yuengling, and Rolling Rock.

It's also a place where a thumpin' juke box blissfully precludes the irritating cellphone conversations (can ya hear me now...yeah?...good—fuck you!) so prevalent at nearby establishments, where the odor of stale beer and nicotine is as enduring as the indecorous graffiti splashed across the walls, or the virulent tats covering employee and patron alike, where a grimey window just past the pool tables offers up an epiphanic view of the District's priapic pride and joy and other architectural goodies, where the Shenandoah Brewing Company showcases some odd (Chocolate Donut Stout) and not so odd (Dremo's James Brown Ale) offerings, where, outside, a wooden totemic golem clasping mug to mouth squats atop a keg to welcome bargoers with a prescient leer, where, every Tuesday night, almost without fail, you can stumble downstairs, beer in hand, to take in a bizarre classic chosen by the Washington Psychotronic Film Society, where, in summer months past, you could wander outside to the erstwhile mechanics bay to stand on dimunitive dunes of trucked-in sand at the patio bar, and where the staff let you park your bike inside with nary a question or questionable look. Gone, all of it, with no hope of reprieve, come 2 a.m on January 27th. Alas...

I biked from work in SW DC to Falls Church, Virginia, to meet up with Gary and Jason at 5:00. I got there a few minutes late owing to a headwind and a capricious decision to take to the streets over the W&OD Trail. The boys were already heading my way, and in seconds we were all rolling eastward along the trail at speed, just like in the good old days. The sun was drifting westerly as we crossed the invisible border from Falls Church into Arlington, picking our way between speeding cars along Route 29 as we did so.

After a few minor run-ins with rush-hour traffic—including one with a Metrobus whose indelicate lane-wavering bordered on the rapacious—we found ourselves pushing the bikes through the industrial doors of Dremo's to line them up against the wall on the left. I threw a lock on mine, mostly because I'd packed the damn thing (but also because you can never be too careful with high-end bike bling), and bundled Gary's up with it, just to make things difficult. On an otherwise empty bulletin board on the wall behind the bikes was a forlorn note declaring January 26th (for simplicity's sake) as the official D-Day.

We grabbed a table in the center of the oddly empty barroom and, after inquiring about the reputed tap presence of Bear Republic's rare heavy-hitter, Racer X (alas, 'twas only a cruel rumor), opted for a pitcher of Lagunitas IPA. It wasn't long before Butch rolled in, having just taken care of some domestic duties, and ordered up a pitcher of Dogfish Head 60 Minute IPA. Thus began the perennial discussion about the apparent fragility of this popular ale,2 a condition confirmed by the first sip. I stuck to the Lagunitas (spot on!) for the rest of the night, as did Gary, with only a brief dalliance with some Rogue Dead Guy Ale near the end. At some point, Zack joined us, rolling in late after overshooting the turn off Wilson to get to the place. He's a city boy and finds the suburbs a bit confusing. Understandable, since, by his own admission, he spends little time in them (also understandable).3

Beer and bullshit flowed. Four of us ordered burgers that were quite tasty, as were the seasoned fries accompanying them—the lone holdout, Gary, had a chicken quesadilla. In a place as dark and, uh, old-skool authentic as that of the good doctor, this grub was a nice, though not wholly unexpected, treat. The food at Dremo's is your standard pub fare, to be sure, but it's done right and it's satisfying and unpretentous (like the taphouse itself) and you know what you're getting.

Pitcher begat pitcher, and the place filled up with loyal patrons come to pay last respects to the dying, along with a thick cloud of cigarette smoke. Just before 10:00, we called for the tab, settled up, then saddled up. Outside in the crisp air, it was good to see the railing loaded with bikes, including a few fixies. Butch and Zack took off heading east, to Alexandria and DC, respectively. Gary, Jason, and I set out the wrong way up Clarendon Boulevard (the usual route) before cutting over to Wilson after passing the Taco Bell (another victim, though much less pitiable, of the impending retail and residential search and destroy, an establishment whose glass doors I once, on a past TNS ride, had the Dutch courage to urinate on in an admittedly puerile attempt to extend a metaphor).

The ride back was largely uneventful, Jason and I leaving Gary behind several times at intersections before we all regrouped at the Custis Trail spur near Fairfax Drive. From there, I again took the lead, laying down a good pace and seeing Jason's headlight dwindle away to nothing behind me once we hit the W&OD junction. I was running on alcohol, and it felt good to throw it down in the coolness of the night. At the top of a hill near the Falls Church border, I stopped to dig out the camera and take some final pix as the boys approached. The results were less than stellar (no surprise there), though one or two turned out well enough. I bid the boys farewell, and took off back into Arlington, leaving them to trundle along on their own to their cars a couple miles away in Falls Church.

It was another good night spent in good company, the drunken bantering having somehow displaced the gloomy awareness that very soon one of the last real bars in the suburbia surrounding DC will close its doors forever, as Arlington cannibalizes its past to feed a questionable future.

Go show the good doctor some love one last time and say goodbye in proper fashion.


1. In an all too common anti-fairytale ending, the landlord went for the bucks. It was never Dremo's fight to begin with, as I understand it.

2. Seems any time I order a DFH 60 Minute IPA anywhere lately, the stuff tastes skunky. Don't know where the problem lies, but since it's pretty consistent from pub to pub--including the DFH franchises--I'm looking at DFH and an underperforming quality control department. It's getting to the point where I won't even bother ordering it anymore.

3. For me, the fascination of the city—where even the scattered pockets of silence that form around the ceaseless grind and groan of unstaunched streams of traffic are gravid with anticipation and possibility—lies in its powerful and wholly obligatory social component. To live in the city is to be a social animal; this civil mandate is not a function of demographic concentrations or class; it thrives simultaneously among and between all realms, and is the offspring of necessity.

Photo credit for last pic above: Jason Stoner. More pix can be found here.

Friday, January 04, 2008

(Won't Be) Going to California with an Achin' in My Heart...

"Seems like the wrath of the gods..."

Thank you for your interest in SSWC08. Unfortunately your entry didn't make the time cut. We had over 800 people interested and only 350 spots to fill. We hope you will still consider coming out to Napa, CA for the race festivities and to cheer on your fellow single speeders. There will be various rides around the Bay Area the week leading up to the race and afterward too, so it should be a lot of fun. We will be posting a blog soon to keep everyone up to date on what's going on. Thank you.

SSWC08 Team


Wah. It appears I won't be "telling myself, it's not as hard, hard, hard as it seems" this year.

Oh well. Guess I'll drop that brass on a custom single-speed instead...

Midnight in Napa...

Spent New Year's Eve swilling beer and socializing at the Outlaw's place in the quiet town of Frederick, MD. A good gathering of people, mostly cyclists in one or another capacity. Brewed libations ranged from all manner of micros in the fridge to four Corney kegs chilling on the back patio: Loose Cannon Hop3 Ale and Holy Sheet Über Abbey Ale (courtesy of SSOFT-sponsor Clipper City), and the Outlaw's own Bukowski's Breakfast Stout and Bad Santa Holiday Ale. Tasty, tasty, tasty, all.

After most of the partygoers headed out post-midnight, a small group of us remained, huddled around our laptops in the Outlaw's living room to while away the time until that other magic hour: 3:00 a.m.

That's midnight, Cali time. It's also the time when registration opened for the Single Speed World Championship '08, to be held in Napa on August 23 and 24. With the big hand on 12 and the little hand on 3, we sent several registrations through the air with hopes that we would all somehow beat out the other 1,000+ people doing likewise at that very moment.

Now, it's all in the hands of Aubrey McFate. Good luck to all who responded (even if I don't really mean it, ha). Seven to ten days is gonna feel like an eternity...*

Be always drunk.
That's all there is to it--
it's the only way.
So as not to feel
the horrible burden of time
that breaks your back
and bends you to the earth,
you have to be continually drunk.

But on what?
Wine, poetry or virtue, as you wish.
But be drunk.

And if sometimes,
on the steps of a palace
or the green grass of a ditch,
in the mournful solitude of your room,
you wake again,
drunkenness already diminishing or gone,
ask the wind,
the wave,
the star,
the bird,
the clock,
everything that is flying,
everything that is groaning,
everything that is rolling,
everything that is singing,
everything that is speaking. . .
ask what time it is
and wind, wave, star, bird, clock
will answer you:
"It is time to be drunk!
So as not to be the martyred slaves of time,
be drunk,
be continually drunk!
On wine, on poetry, or on virtue as you wish."

                         —Charles Baudelaire, Be Drunk

*UPDATE: Hmm...seems that if you DON'T make the registration cut, you receive an email saying so, to wit:

From: SingleSpeed World Championship

Thank you for your interest in SSWC08. Unfortunately registration filled up prior to receiving your form. We had over 800 people interested and only 350 spots to fill. We hope you will still consider coming out to Napa, CA for the race festivities and to cheer on your fellow single speeders. There will be various rides around the Bay Area the week leading up to the race and afterward too, so it should be a lot of fun. We will be posting a blog soon to keep everyone up to date on what's going on. Thank you.

SSWC08 Team


As of yet, I have received no such communication. I excerpted the above from a board over at The Bike Site.