What to do if you missed your opportunity to attend? Well, a short length of stout rope, commonly available at your local big box hardware store, might be an option, if you’re good with nooses and have access to an exposed ceiling joist. Handguns are readily available, though in this case a whole box of ammo is a waste—I recommend a full-blued finish, no point in springing for Parkerizing or chrome-plating for a single use. Then there’s the always economical, largely effortless, and practically foolproof gas-stove tête-à-tête. For a host of other clever and not so clever exit strategies, I direct you to Mr. Wataru Tsurumi’s yugaitosho offering, The Complete Manual of Suicide. For inspiration, try Camus' The Myth of Sisyphus.
Or, you could simply suffer along quietly until next year, when the 4th Annual Bootlegger’s Bliss rolls around on drunken wheels. Your choice. Have a nice day.
Oh, and the pint glasses are in.
The supply of these babies is limited; distribution will be made in the order of original RSVP for the event. However, all who bring homebrew will receive a glass.