No More Tits-Out Riding...

...at least we're finished with all that. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the new Single Speed Outlaw Factory Team (affectionately known as SSOFT—insert cheap one-liner here with obligatory reference to Priapus) race jersey, fresh off the assembly line and reeking of polyester and decal laminate. Three-quarter zip front, tri-pocket back.

Penitentiary pinstripes and, ahem, arresting color scheme, as well as other interesting design elements, courtesy of rickyd. So purty it's gonna turn all other team jerseys green with envy.

Sausage-skin fit courtesy of tyrannous and curiously longstanding European influences, overseas manufacturing practices, too much time on my hands, and perhaps a wee bit of overcompensation for an as-yet undetermined (or at least undisclosed) element. Here's the marketing math: Large "race" fit = Medium "heroin-chic" fit; the la chiva theme is extended to the sleeve ends, which could double as makeshift tourniquets in the event your kit is pinched or there's a run on latex tubing—no, really, check out the jersey's designer, clad in a Medium. Warning: image may not be suitable for viewing at work...ah, hell, be bold!

(Clipper City Brewing Company as a team sponsor...brilliant, by Pan!)

(Photo credit: D. Ross)